There is a lot of background I could give you on my life, but I won't bore you with the details.
All I will say is that I have not had your "typical" childhood/teenage life and all of those crap details I don't want to talk about have shaped who I am. I like that about it. Even though I look back and wish it wasn't me in that foggy memory, I am thankful I have them.
I will however tell you this....
So, for starters...I graduated high school with an expectation. I wanted a better life for myself, and I was going to make that happen. Nursing was my profession of choice. Originally I wanted to join the Canadian Armed Forces, but I realized that being so far from home wouldn't work for me. See I am a family gal, I have to be close to the one's I love.
However, I have to be far enough away that I have space. I'm sure it's like that in most families, so many personalities in one room can be overwhelming. It's kind cruel actually; our family has a love-hate relationship (my Mom and Dad, brother, sister and myself).
My parents split when I was 12 and the years that followed were nothing short of crap. Until about five years ago. You see after my parents split I went through a long, and very drawn out rough spot and made a lot of mistakes. Than in grade 11, I figured out that if I wanted a better life, only I could make that happen. I smartened up and got a job, pulled my grades out from the deepest depths of failure, and started to make a list for my future.
One of my friends gave me a book called "The Secret" and it gave me the idea to make a dream board. On it I put pictures of what I wanted in my life, I spent HOURS on it; cutting out pictures, searching the net for information and costs. I had fun, and for the first time in my life I had physical representation of me (or at least my interpretation of what I wanted me to be later on).
I was dating this guy at the time, and we had been together for about a year at this point. Making the board I realized that he was not the kind of guy that I needed in my life. He had a lot of problems and had been in and out of trouble for our whole relationship and I was beginning to see that you can't change people. So, I made a list of all the qualities that I wanted in a partner.
Not long after that I found out (from my Mom and sister who saved all of it on my computer to show me) that he had been fooling around with women on these internet chat sites. They showed me some conversations that btw, were nothing short of gross. I mean I get sexting and whatever, but this was just wrong. I lost total respect for him after that and as hard as I tried to pretend like I cared about him, I just couldn't look at him the same way.
About a month later I was in the cafeteria with my girlfriend when we were approached by this guy wearing a black cowboy hat and boots. It was funny because I had hooting and hollering at him for about a month in the halls. It was hilarious because i wasn't the only person who did it either. He would be coming down the hall and I would yell "Yeehaw cowboy"! and he would turn around to see who yelled it, smile and go all red in the face. Anyways, he asked us to join this environmental club at school and said they need enough members to get it started. We weren't convinced, but then he offered us his shriveled up balloon as a bribe. Amanda took it.
We went a few days later to the club meeting and I actually thought it was a cool idea so I joined and volunteered to be the event coordinator. I got to the "the cowboy" pretty well and eventually we started to hang out outside of school.
Soon enough Christmas break was like a week away and of course it was hockey season. I invited "the cowboy" over to watch a game and he never left. "The cowboy" is CJ; we moved out together that Christmas break and have been together ever since.
About ten months later I got a call from my sister, who was at the hospital with my Dad. Turns out those "swollen glands" I kept telling him to get checked out were actually tumours. He was diagnosed with small lymphocytic leukemia; an incurable disease that can only be "managed" with chemotherapy. Eventually the cancer cells become intolerable of the chemo drugs and start to resist the treatments, which is when they would stop the chemo and prepare for him to die.
He did 8 months of therapy and was in remission, things were looking great and the oncologist expected him not to need any more treatments for 5 to 10 years.
That summer we went on a road trip out west and back and than moved out to the country when we returned. I started to get ready for Nursing and CJ started to work as a subcontractor for his father's company. First semester went great, I was loving it; but really happy to be on Christmas break. However, we had decided to move to another apartment in the area so it was kind of chaotic.
Christmas morning came and CJ and I proceeded with our annual gift opening after breakfast. We video taped it for his Mom on our computer because she was upset she couldn't be there...
The last box came and it was for me, I opened it and in my lap lay a bouquet of white and red roses and tucked in beside them was a little green box with a perfect little ring inside. I hadn't noticed CJ down on the floor until I looked up and he asked me to marry him. I swear I said yes before I leaned in to hug and kiss him; but CJs face said otherwise when he said "umm you didn't say anything" with tears welled up in his eyes. I repeated myself and than realized I had a gift bag on my head which I promptly removed before I too started to cry. I had gone the last two years thinking that CJ did not like the idea of getting married so this was a total surprise.
My Mom, Dad, brother and sister came over later on in the day; no one knew he was going to propose except his family. He knew my Mom and dad would not have been able to keep their mouths shut LOL
So as we started to ponder over wedding ideas, we also received some more news; that 5 years the oncologist gave my Dad was actually 1.
Since the cancer had come back more aggressive and there wasn't much hope for a stem cell transplant, CJ and I decided to push the wedding up and we got married August 7th, 2010 - eight months after we got engaged.
Since then, my Dad has received a stem cell transplant at Princess Margaret Hospital in February 2011 and so far he is in the clear. The cancer has not come back.
So there, that's the last 6 years or so of my life.
R xo
